While I wait...

It's 2:33am. I'm waiting for Jasper to go back to sleep, he was up for a bottle (!) and is now lulling himself to sleep with a combo...'ahhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhh (cough, cough)'.

I am one feeding away from him being completely weaned. On one hand i am looking forward to eating mayo/ dairy without guilt (knowing I'm the only one effected by it). On he other hand I gathered all my nursing tanks, my staple wardrobe item for the last 8 months, and starred choking up a little while moving them out of my closet. I suppose I should just do it, I'm not sure I can sustain enough milk to do only one feeding a day. I just have to stop getting stuck in the 'ok Shannon, this is the last feeding ever, you can do it, stop bawling, of course he isn't a tiny baby any more...go get the bottle, good. Ok now give him the bottle, damn it, stop nursing,'.

I can see how gracefully acknowledging Jasper growing up (letting go) is going to be difficult for me. Kindergarten 2015 I'm looking at you.

Ahhhhhhhhh silence from the crib, good (rest of the night)